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Holiday season is upon us and what better time than to show that Black Lives Matter to you by supporting the work and art of black women and femmes!

Graeme Seabrook has created The Holiday Black Book which is a collection of black women and femme creators, artists, services and entrepreneurs, including yours truly. You can find anything from coaching to jewelry and my e-book of poetry Eggshell Free Poetry from Killing Georgina in The Holiday Black Book –>http://bit.ly/BuyFromBlackWomen.

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When Spiritual Bypassing Meets Racism Meets Gaslighting

Wake Up, Mama!

StockSnap_E3NYYLVBWM Photo credit: StockSnap. Description: Woman with eyes closed and shadow across face.

I want to talk about something I witnessed last week in the online world.

First, a little background. A couple of years ago, I became increasingly aware of a pervasive phenomenon in the (overwhelmingly white) women’s spirituality/ personal growth circles I move in. I noticed persistent attempts to deny and disown painful realities by insistence (overt or implied) that we create our struggles with our negative thinking or energy or low vibration or fill-in-the-blank. I do believe the way we frame things in our thinking can be important to our well being and success, up to a point. I do believe we have some authentic choice around where we place our focus, and those choices can impact our well being and success, up to a point. However, I found the blanket application and oversimplification of these ideas to…

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my love & me

Ventilator Old Metal Cooling Fan Airflow Vintage

Fans blowing the breeze across my breast
Your lips searching my body
Warm hands caressing my curves
Thumbs into my indentations
Independently liberating me from my panties and foraging my skin for the
fruits of our love

We fall into each other, wantingly, not waiting.
We find the spots and claim the world to be our own.
Burn everything down that doesn’t recognize you make me whole.

In the silent times,
comfort and togetherness.
In the loudness,
solidarity in the waiting for the silence.

In our togetherness, we found ourselves.
One and one became three then four. Enough. No more.
Now a square, where a square should have been.
We are complete.
The end.

So here is the hold up…

patrons only
So here’s the hold up…

I’m torn and insecure.  I know my poetry isn’t “good”.  It serves its purpose to get me free of the thoughts and feelings that hold me down.  But it’s not good in structure or imagery or rhyme scheme or any of that stuff good poetry has.So, here’s the hold up…should I just sell my…

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Paypal Gifts

Update: It was brought to my attention that my Paypal account is listed as a business account and therefore can not accept “gifts” or funds sent as “friend/family”.    I appreciate your support and standing in this space together. Please consider subscribing to be a patron for exclusive patron only content and first looks:

https://www.patreon.com/killinggeorgina

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Killing Georgina

When sending Paypal contributions please pick send as gift.  While I appreciate the sentiment that you understand that my writing, emotional and intellectual labor is in fact labor and should not be free. However, not knowing each of you individually makes me want to decline and refund any funds because it is a known scamming technique to send as goods and turn around and put in a dispute claiming it as fraudulent activity. If you wish to send a one time contribution through Paypal, please know that while I appreciate the sentiment I must refund any payments sent as goods in which I am not mailing you something and ask that you resend as a gift if you could.  I appreciate your support and standing in this space together.

Thank you!
XO Management ❤

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Paypal Gifts

 

When sending Paypal contributions please pick send as gift.  While I appreciate the sentiment that you understand that my writing, emotional and intellectual labor is in fact labor and should not be free. However, not knowing each of you individually makes me want to decline and refund any funds because it is a known scamming technique to send as goods and turn around and put in a dispute claiming it as fraudulent activity. If you wish to send a one time contribution through Paypal, please know that while I appreciate the sentiment I must refund any payments sent as goods in which I am not mailing you something and ask that you resend as a gift if you could.  I appreciate your support and standing in this space together.

Thank you!
XO Management ❤

 

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Booting Beckys and Choosing Myself

Originally published by Threads of Solidarity on Medium on August 1, 2017

And Featured in HuffPo Black Voices on Sep. 14, 2017

Dear Beckys,

We can not be friends. In case you don’t know, Beckys are white women who aren’t actively seeking to understand and dismantle white supremacy. Beckys are good people; they are well meaning and their intentions are everything. Beckys are colorblind and think classism or sexism or fascism or capitalism (or literally any other -ism) but not racism, is the problem we all need to join forces to fight against. Beckys are positive that if we focus on positivity and respectability we shall overcome. Beckys don’t realize the harm they cause. Beckys are white (or white presenting) women who have privilege and implicit bias on their side but refuse to acknowledge it. They participate in maintaining white supremacy and don’t understand or care to unpack how they are complicit in order to affect change.

In short, I can not be friends with white women. Not white women who can’t acknowledge that being colorblind is problematic AF. Not white women who see calling out racism as spreading hate. Not white women who lash out and turn into teenagers spewing insults when I speak my truth and it hurts their feelings because she is set on saying to herself “But I’m a good person!” Not white woman who can’t acknowledge simple concepts like white privilege. Not anymore. Both in real life and online, I can not have friends that are not working on anti-racism from the inside out.

It’s my fault though. I invited you to the cookout too soon. I gave you a pass when you said something subtle, casually, as a “joke.” I was afraid of being seen as angry so I laughed along or stood quiet. My silence earned me validation, earned me “one of the cool ones” status. So I did not guard my space and protect my energy from internalizing your reality. I was naive and didn’t understand but now I know. While I know you may not have been aware of what you were doing, you also did not care enough to want to understand. So don’t call me your best friend if you don’t want me to be whole.

I have escaped the Sunken Place but with people like this in my life, it’s like having one foot still in and constantly fighting off being dragged back down. Not today Satan. I am stronger than your invalidation. I am wiser than your lack of understanding. I am happier than your perception of me when I am fighting for my liberation. “My eyes are open and I cannot and will not force them shut.” I am deliberately grabbing liberation and creating it for myself.

I am

deliberately grabbing liberation

and creating it for myself.

My liberation starts in accepting the truth of my reality and not allowing others to gaslight me into believing there is something wrong with me. I deserve to be whole. I deserve to be comfortable. I’m done swallowing hard and biting my tongue to keep from explaining why what you said wasn’t okay. How that, that thing you just did, is an example of fetishizing, tokenizing, pre-judging, colorism, exceptionalism, tone policing, respectability politics, anti-blackness…the list goes on and on.

I know you don’t want to hear that you are complicit. Guess what? I don’t want to experience (or explain) the harm you are causing in demonizing or dehumanizing people who don’t look like you. Make no mistake, it causes me harm and triple the harm if I say nothing and try to move on. You’re tired. I’m exhausted. I have exhausted my patience, my time, my energy, my love and my acceptance. I have extended my limits of tolerating intolerance and given too many “well meaning”, “good intentions” passes. I’m tapped out. I’m done being silenced and made to feel small. Because I can’t have friends that aren’t on the same page as me; not now, not ever! if I want to be whole. It happened before and it will happen again and if I don’t stand for something, I will fall for anything. I’m done being pushed until I fall off the cliff.

So before you ask me, what happened to Kelly or Jane or Becky? Or why she doesn’t come around anymore, don’t. Before you look at me sideways like I can’t keep a friend, don’t. I chose myself and my sanity over her comfort. That’s what happened. The end.

Signed,

Deliberately Grabbing Liberation

(Formerly known as “angry, bitchy, black friend”)

 

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Because It Does

because it does.jpg

“I am a feminist, and what that means to me is much the same as the meaning of the fact that I am Black: it means that I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect.”

June Jordan

H/T to the Black Women’s Blueprint on Facebook

Art by: Charles Bibbs

I can’t NOT share this. The feeling that came over me when I saw this image and then read the quote…indescribable. When something so true graces you with its presence; you stop, take it in, reflect and embrace that felt understanding that comes over one’s whole being. That is what happened. Because it does. My life does depend upon me undertaking the primary and life giving act of self-love and self-respect*.

And that is why I must amplify black women’s truth. Because amplifying that which does not get seen as true/real/normal because of patriarchy, misogyny and racism is misogynoir. Simply amplifying what mirrors my reality acts to validate and expands my reality. No longer to be relegated to the shadows, kitchen tables and beauty salons where black women feel free to love on one another and validate each other’s lived experiences. Validation and amplification create that as a reality for those who have been living in their own bubble believing their truth is the only truth. So I couldn’t NOT share this. Because my life depends on this truth. It’s been said time and time again that only black women cape for black women. Black women put on your capes. #metoo #sayhername #standwithjemele #standwithava

*Note: Self respect is not the same as respectability. Let that marinate.

 

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