She could have avoided all of this if vvhite folks stop trying to claim ancestry as a way of being fancy vvhite or spicy vvhite or ethnic vvhite or not as oppressive as the others vvhite.
Own your shit and stop trying to claim trauma from oppression that your ancestors caused as a way to not own that you benefit from the violence your ancestors inflicted through genocide, slavery, rape, redlining, Jim Crow, reservations and broken treaties, forced assimilation, boarding schools and on and on and on.
So no it wasn’t a lose/lose situation. No she wasn’t forced to do anything.
It was a situation of her own making because of vvhite colonialism & entitlement to claim all things as your own.
Stop it. Now.